Spoil yourself first this Valentine

We all know that you have to love yourself before you can truly receive someone else’s love. And that self-confidence also benefits within your relationship. But if you hold on to your sweetheart with all your power, get heart beats when your partner ignores your message, and are constantly afraid that he or she will leave you, that is logically less #healthy for your #relationship.

In the latter case, we speak of attachment problems. The actions of your partner then completely determine how you feel. Of course, the ins and outs of your #loved ones won’t leave you cold, but it goes too far if you hold them responsible for your emotions. “Even the most perfect partner who gives you everything you’ve ever wanted isn’t capable of solving your attachment problem.” The only one who can do that is you.

A lack of self-care

#Self-care mainly means that you build a #positive relationship with yourself. You deal with your feelings and thoughts, get to know yourself better, recognize which things are not good for you and learn to let them go. Result: you are at #peace with yourself and are in #balance

“People with attachment problems often don’t take good care of themselves unless they’re in a relationship. And if they are in a relationship, they only take care of themselves to maintain control over their partner, not because they consider themselves worthwhile. Their self-worth is related to #receiving love. If there is no love #partner in their lives, they abandon themselves.”

The paradox is that it is precisely the people who are most afraid of being abandoned by their partner that this often actually happens, because love in those situations does not get a chance to really blossom. The basis for a love relationship – there it is again; loving yourself – must first be laid down in order to be able to meet the other person more easily.

Independent of the approval of others
Attachment problems or separation anxiety usually do not arise just like that. Often in a person’s childhood there has been a disturbed relationship with the parents, causing separation anxiety. To get rid of attachment problems, it is important to learn how to offer yourself the safety, support, confirmation and appreciation that you (in your youth) missed.

Instead of making the other person responsible for your feelings, you have to take responsibility for this yourself. In other words, make yourself independent of the judgment and influence of others. “Don’t ignore your feelings, but accept them.
Get closer to your emotions instead of running away from them. Try to figure out what your gut wants to say to you.”

When you learn to appreciate yourself better and – eventually – start to love yourself, silly things like an unanswered phone call no longer bring you out of balance. Your focus shifts from getting love to sharing love. And that is ultimately the most important thing in a relationship.

How well do we take care of ourselves?

Healthy self-care is treating yourself with love and compassion. It is literally taking care of yourself, which improves your health and well-being.
Self-care has the ability to restore your energy and fill your emotional, and mental physical. Self-care helps prevent burnout and, as we have already mentioned, is an important component for rest, health and a happy life.

Not everyone finds it easy to do something for themselves. Let alone really take the time for themselves. Many people prefer to do things that unburden others. They are more focused on others than they are focused on their own needs and fulfillment. For such people, it is very difficult to recognize, appreciate and meet their own needs through healthy self-care.
Loving yourself and providing yourself with self-care. Is essential for breaking through negative thoughts about yourself, but it also teaches us to keep the balance between caring for yourself and for the other person. This makes your inner self more powerful and you no longer let others prescribe your self-worth.

Ok, but how do I start with self-care?


These tips and exercises are the ideal way to unwind, and they don’t even take up as much of your “precious” time.

( just don’t forget how precious you are ???? )

  1. Be gentle with yourself.
    Stress and the feelings associated with this situation are very normal. Pay attention to your mental and physical health.
    Create fixed me-time moments. Me-time is time that is completely, 100% for you. You can fill in this time as you wish.
    Build in structural moments of self-care. For example, by scheduling half an hour every day, preferably at fixed times. Is that not possible because of work, school or sports. Then plan your fixed moments in such a way that you consciously make it an agenda item. A meeting with yourself. What you do in this me-time moment is entirely up to you.

2. Eat healthy and drink enough.
Try not to be tempted by fast food and soft drinks.
Did you know that you can also eat ‘quietly’ and that certain nutrients can genuinely calm down?
Put these products in the shopping cart ????

  • Honey

A product that many people know and have at home, but it is not generally known that it has a soothing effect. Honey contains a high dose of tryptophan, an amino acid that counteracts feelings of unrest. In addition, honey is also rich in potassium, which reduces stress in your brain and in your body.

  • Vegetable soup

Soup is not only tasty and ready quickly, when you eat it, your nervous system also comes into balance. It is so healthy, because soup fights infections; of course also causes of physical restlessness and stress. Choose soup that is full of vegetables, such as tomatoes, peppers and carrots. You can also add garlic, spinach, thyme and many other ingredients. This way you have more taste and your constitution becomes even stronger.

  • Milk

Do you need something that calms down immediately? Then take a glass of warm milk. Milk, like honey, contains the soothing tryptophan, a component that also boosts the production of the happiness substance serotonin (of about 43%). Serotonin also helps you get to sleep better. Drinking a glass of cold milk during the day is also a great plan: then it helps you not to fall asleep.

  • Celery

Celery has been known for thousands of years as a remedy for stress. Before the era, the doctor Hippocrates already praised the plant for its soothing effect. Today, experts recognize that a daily intake of this “rookie” counteracts high blood pressure. And a lower blood pressure means that you can relax better. It can be as simple as that.

  1. Give your mind a rest
    Meditate daily for 5 minutes (before you step into the busy world or before you go to sleep)
    Meditating is really not difficult, and does not have to be floaty at all. Try this:

Lie down relaxed or sit down and support with your feet on the floor.
Close your eyes and place a palm on your stomach to feel your breathing.
Breathe through your belly and focus on a positive thought or quote.
Repeat it to yourself (silently or out loud) for about five minutes (or until you have calmed down), while completely eliminating all other thoughts.
Also, avoid external stimuli that can distract you as much as possible. Mobile phone, clockwork and noisy housemates are therefore out of the question. Remember me-time is really YOUR time ????

  1. Self-care is as essential as work.
    Find a quiet space or get a breath of fresh air. Taking ‘rest’ moments at work is not only crucial if you want to stay sharp.
    In fact, sufficient rest makes extra productive and creative – and also a lot happier in the workplace. Ok, nice, but how do I do that in a world full of trains?
    For a change, take a walk during the break, avoid crowded canteens and find a quiet place for yourself, even if it’s only 5 minutes from your break time.
    Make sure you already have your lunch with you or have it ready. This way you create peace and avoid rushing in your short breaks.

5. Work-o-holic menatility may well be a notch lower, then you can still realize dreams

In these difficult times, it is once so important to take a rest. Therefore, stop working on time. Settle for what you did that day. The largest buildings are also not built in one day and remember that every 1%, ultimately results in 100%.

6. Get a good night’s sleep

Try turning off all screens an hour before bedtime. No more checking e-mails or reading news on the tablet or smartphone.

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